What makes your heart keep pounding?

Was it too late to ask that to myself?

I used to think that my drawing skill gives me confidence and believe that I'm actually gifted with something, I'm actually special... 

I used to think that cooking and make some good food give me some reason to enjoy my life...

I used to think that travelling gives me a lot of surprises and fresh new things...

I used to think that love from friends and family gives a sense of recognition to be part of the group...

I used to think that what I do will actually get the expected return that you want...

But now,

I don't have time to draw, cook, travel...

Even you wanted to do those things, you can't... 

well, more things awaits in front of you... 

Be realistic... You need a career... You need to work to get more money... You need to do something that have been planned even you don't like it... You need to get the best job out there... You need to expect yourself to do more than what you're doing now... Drawing ain't going to give you a future... Cooking just going to waste your precious time, instead of doing that, go and buy some foods... Travel? well, not really an option anymore after came back to Malaysia... Love? too busy to get and give... Getting what you expected to get after an intense and weighty effort? No... never expecting...  

The job I'm doing now doesn't makes my heart pounding as hard as I used to have in England...

Meaning of life? 

What makes me keep going and move forward with my life... ?

I don't really know... 

But still... move on...

Probably that's life... 

WH,  Fck it!  Deal with it...!